Why you're stuck
Being torn rarely means you're bad at deciding. It usually means the options really are close, or one important fact is missing — and your mind keeps circling because it can't settle on a guess.
How to choose between two options
- Write the best and worst realistic outcome for each option.
- Find the deciding fact: “If I knew ___, the choice would be obvious.”
- Check that fact cheaply — ask, visit, trial or look it up.
- Favour the option that's easier to undo if the evidence is still even.
- Try the coin test: assign each option to heads or tails and flip. Your reaction to the result tells you what you actually want.
- Pick a review date so the choice doesn't feel permanent.
Frequently asked questions
What should I do when I can't make a decision?
Identify the one fact that would settle it and check it. If nothing would settle it, the options are close enough that either is reasonable — choose and review later.
Is flipping a coin a good way to decide?
As a tie-breaker, yes — mainly because your reaction to the result shows your real preference. Don't use it for decisions you haven't checked.
How long should I take to decide?
Match the time to the stakes. Reversible choices deserve minutes; costly, permanent ones deserve the time it takes to check the key fact — rarely longer.